Fuck you, Morningstar, and fuck you, Kelevra. I AM NOT UGLY. Moreover, I'm not responsible for your runaway puppy. Also, you should probably give it some water and some Puppy Treats.
I've been investigating them in my spare time, so how very dare you all insist I babysit your puppy. You're lucky she had a lead. Pun not intended, fuck you! ;)
I had birds tracking Sanna, because I, ladies and gents, am made of awesome. Anyway, she was interrogating Crimson Knights to try and find out why they were attacking the city. When I reached her, she was on the outskirts of the fray, stalking a Crimson Knight twice her size. He had a rifle hanging off his back by a strap. She sprinted up behind him, grabbed the rifle either end, pulled, then braced her knee into his spine and released the clasp of the strap. And executed him then and there in a blaze of smoke. I would say Incognito has trained your puppy well.
As she was about to stagger out the smoke and further into the town, I got my birds to herd her back. Seeing me, she raised the rifle and fired. A bird took the bullet for me. She was about to fire again, but she was still disoriented by the smoke. I tried to keep her there until she would be overcome by it. The rifle clattered to the floor, she stumbled even more. Then our efforts were interrupted by another powerhouse Crimson Knight screaming for us to run.
Smoke aside, Sanna looks like a typical Runner and I look like a typical Nest. Yet he was trying to save us. Being an utterly psychotic bitch, Sanna went straight for his throat. She was winning until he got a hold of her arm and hurled her skinny little ass fifteen fucking metres in the opposite direction. It was hilarious. At which point she scrabbled up and ran from the town. I had birds tracking her. She got a few miles before passing out from exhaustion. So I've left her there, she probably still there, maybe alive, maybe dead, not sure. But either way she's not my fucking responsibility, you fucks.
Now if you'll excuse me I have some investigating to do. I'm a real private eye now, see. :3 Tirah.
A real private eye? Heard there's been a pretty significant drop in supply since proxys are too busy with the war to moonlight, you must be making a mint. Considered it myself, but it's a pain to find work when both of your false identities are wanted for murder.
ReplyDeleteI was exaggerating, and investigating is not something I am being paid for at all. In fact, I have no income. I'll have to work on that. Still, if it's as profitable as you deducted...
DeleteAs for the hard to find work for you thing, why not wash cars? :3
I do, amongst other things. Just that I have lots of debt, and not a lot of money.
DeleteAnd I'd assume it's pretty profitable, what with the amount of proxies who did the job part time. We're pretty much a bunch of crazy stalkers anyway, may as well get a paycheck for it.
Do you still identify as a proxy? Minus the pay-cheque you mentioned. I hear the Timberwolves pay well, if you happened to be interested.
DeleteDo I still identify as a proxy? Kind of. I don't feel like I've changed, from before to after slendy stuck me on his to-do list. I was a proxy before, and I'm still the same guy, so I really don't know.
DeleteTimberwolves probably wouldn't be willing to pay me. The archangel and slendy seem to be fighting over me. As in, each can't focus on me without the other stabbing them in the back. So the timberwolves would probably shoot on sight.
Ohhh, I seeeee, you're in trouble! Have you thought about becoming a Nest?
DeleteIt's pretts cool. You don't really feel pain... and you can summon birds from your wounds and your cakehole... probably other holes too but I've never tried. That would be hilarious, though. Hang on, I'mma try shooting birds out of my left nostril.
Ugh, how misery loves company.
That can be plan C. After all, I wouldn't know where to start with signing up to that, and. I'm fairly sure it's a bad sign that I'm having some trouble coming up with any real reasons why that would be worse than my other two plans.
DeleteTo sign up for it, you just have to know a nest, or happen to stumble upon the convocation. The birds will do the rest. :D
DeleteThe nostril thing works! It was a black hummingbird. Not much use beyond comedy value.
Could be useful as a fan. You know, for the summertime.
DeleteSo what do nests even do? I mean, as a proxy I'd basically piss off other fears and occasionally runners, but doesn't the convocation do that themselves?
In Britain? Then again, July was hot.
DeleteWe spread the convocation. We raid bases. We're basically vehicles.
Fair enough. What're the side effects?
DeleteLack of emotions that are truly yours. Loss of identity. Occasional amnesia. Severe scarring. Inability to escape duty. Occasional amnesia. Inside jokes, customs, language - Nests tend to be a little more cult-ish than proxies, and not in a stupid way. In a way that makes it difficult to leave. Occasional amnesia.
DeleteI'm an honest saleswoman.
I'm gonna admit that amnesia and lack of emotion sounds like a sweet deal.
DeleteInability to escape duty, how do you mean? If you try to leave, you get killed by birds, or it just doesn't occur to you to try to leave?
Scarring, I'm gonna assume that's self caused? Eh, either way that ship has already sailed.
As for the loss of identity, would you mind clarifying?
The thought simply doesn't occur. It's like splitting the sea. Conceivable, but impossible.
DeleteLoss of identity. Well, since I'm not entirely sure which memories are mine. It does mean I have other's painful experiences. But memories are what make our personalities.
So, others' memories. Do you just get glimpses, or is it like having the combined experiences of all the nests in your head?
DeleteAlso, you know, azoth. Any idea how that'd interact?
OH MY. WHAT IS THIS. IT WOULD APPEAR THAT REDLIGHT HAS REDLIT OUR DEAR PRECIOUS MADDIE. AS SUCH. I MUST GO OFF TO EUROPE, TO DEAL WITH THIS TRULY MASSIVE THREAT. BEFORE IT DESTROYS US ALL. YES.
ReplyDeleteI love Nests. They taste so Good...
Dude, you could at least be honest. It's not like you're gonna convince anyone of anything. The attendants are controlling you.
DeleteYep. News Flash. They don't care, and I am not the only Anti-Redlight Agent running around.
DeleteExactly my point. They don't care, so why not say 'I feel like killimg a person, and as you're a person, I'm gonna kill you'.
DeleteBecause this way amuses me.
DeleteIt has nada to do with Redlight but you know that. Are you trying to scare me? Keep trying; it's funny.
Delete....Hold the Phone! Snowman! Is that you!? Pretending to be a girl? Cause you sure do act like him, just bitching and moaning, and bitching, and moaning.
ReplyDeleteAnd here I thought Minxie killed you.
Because YOU seem to think the puppy that you and Morningstar adopted is my responsibility. Do you need me to shave your back for you, old man? Fuck off!
DeleteSee what I mean? Bitch and moaning, and bitching, and moaning.
DeleteOut of interest, would you be able to get into contact with Sanna? I've got some stuff to deliver to her, and if I'm gonna be headed in your direction anyway it makes sense to do both at once.
ReplyDelete