WORST DATE EVER

OK, so I turn up at this lake Lovett/Craft wants me to turn up to. All I have on the meeting is that he's not going to kill me. So that's risky, right? I've waited. And I waited. And I'm still here.

And then this happens:

HE HASN'T SHOWN UP.

I am a very busy girl. I am very in demand. I do not fuck with time wasters.

Get your ass over here or I'm out.

Don't stand me up.

Cunt.

PHILLIP!

You GRASSED on me. You are a grass. You are a GRASS IN THE PARK!

Set foot in Moldova and I shall kill you.

I hope you do. Come heeeere you wanker. I'm ready to snuff a bitch.

♡ She'll Never Get To Heaven ♡

Hello all my little sugar bunnies,

HAVE A LINK TO MY LATEST GLORIES.

Also, I'm 20 now. Yay me!

♡ Hey Guys, Lovett Has A Tazer ♡

So Sanna and I have been in the Telford area lately, although we've been westward bound since. While I am not one for handing out paranoid glances like they're free mints, I still watch my ass, comb the area, maybe get some makeup from Boots. (Seriously, Too-Faced's Candlelight for £25? Oh by the way guize, my birthday's coming up, nudge nudge. You know, I think Sleek has a new shadow palette out as well. But I haven't been able to find it in shops yet. *sigh* Oh who will buy it for me?)

On one of my little nightly pokearounds, I saw a tall boy coming up over the bridge, perhaps just a teensie bit younger than me. Wearing sunglasses. Which roused my suspicions. He had that Running For My Life look about him. And nobody wears sunglasses at night unless they don't want to be recognised.

So I dispersed into birds and blocked his merry way. "Runner or servant?"

"Neither. It's Lovett."

This one. Formerly known as pHIL. It took me a mo to process the name, and then deduce his purpose. I know he told Sanna in the comments that he had some information possibly relating to her father. But SANNA HERSELF hadn't told me to expect him. "Well, I never. On your way to see the train wreck? I hope you brought a gun."

"What use is a gun when you aren't sure you can shoot? Besides, luck and amiableness have kept me alive so far." Luck and amiability will only get you so far, pal.

"Do you at least have a knife? Honestly, it's crazy you're even thinking of going near her. Kelevra and Star done fucked her up good."

"Hopefully this will focus that away from random violence." He raised an A4 envelope into my field of view. "After all, having an aim does wonders for distracting you from random violence. Figured I could do that much. For old time's sake. Besides, I'm not going unarmed." With that, he showed me the Tazer in his pocket. "Should do the job, if needs be."

"A Tazer? Wow, I've never seen a Tazer." I reached for it, ever so politely, I swear. "Can I see it?"

But oh no, Mr Fancy Tazer Pants has to have his Tazer all to himself. "Hope you understand that I'm not letting this go. Too many people out for my head, and if I lose this one I'm not gonna be able to lay hands on another."

"Just for a second." In the wake of my again ever so polite solicitation, I tried to get it from him.

"No. I already feel exposed enough out here without giving away my only real weapon." Mr Fancy Tazer Pants put the Tazer back into the pocket of his hoodie.

I folded my arms. "Why didn't she tell me she was meeting you soon?"

"Didn't necessarily know. I was in the neighbourhood, figured I might as well get it done. That a bad idea?"

"No. It's a terrible idea. But. Your funeral." Dismissive, I gestured in the realm of not giving a fuck.

"I'll be fine. And to prove it I will see you later, Maddie."

Yeah, so from what I little I got out of Sanna, he survived their meeting, so see ya later Tazer Fancy Pants bitch. Hang on, when will I see you later? Did we agree to go tobogganing and I just have Nest amnesia?

Fast forward many hours and I went to pull Sanna's little head off for not telling me we were having a visitor. I mean, that's just rude and bitchy. But first order of business was STUFFS. I don't LIKE being left out of the picture when I've specifically been asked to be IN the picture.

"Didja read what Lovett gave you about your daddy issues?"

Her gaze flittered to the left when I tried to make eye contact. "Yeah."

"Can I see it?"

Face. Ashen. "Ah-uh." A tremble in that utterance . . . . . . . fear? Or maybe denial. One bleeds into another, anyhow.

"Why not? Lemme see." If I'm going to help her with her issues like she wanted, I need to know more about them, don't I? That's always been the rule. "Where did you put the document?"

Saying nowt, she pulled her knees up to her chest and waited.

"Where is it?" I started pawing through her stuff, overturning tattered books and creased clothes.

Her eyes shut, she breathed in, out. "Not today."

"Not today, my ass! Do you want my help or don't you? I'll give you two fucking weeks to get your shit together and show me that, OK?"

"Yeah." Not a flicker of interest in me. Which I can't say keeps me wanting to feed any kind of communication. I don't think she was really arsing herself with the conversation, so I left it there.

♡ Fuck You Guys ♡

Fuck you, Morningstar, and fuck you, Kelevra. I AM NOT UGLY. Moreover, I'm not responsible for your runaway puppy. Also, you should probably give it some water and some Puppy Treats.

I've been investigating them in my spare time, so how very dare you all insist I babysit your puppy. You're lucky she had a lead. Pun not intended, fuck you! ;)

I had birds tracking Sanna, because I, ladies and gents, am made of awesome. Anyway, she was interrogating Crimson Knights to try and find out why they were attacking the city. When I reached her, she was on the outskirts of the fray, stalking a Crimson Knight twice her size. He had a rifle hanging off his back by a strap. She sprinted up behind him, grabbed the rifle either end, pulled, then braced her knee into his spine and released the clasp of the strap. And executed him then and there in a blaze of smoke. I would say Incognito has trained your puppy well.

As she was about to stagger out the smoke and further into the town, I got my birds to herd her back. Seeing me, she raised the rifle and fired. A bird took the bullet for me. She was about to fire again, but she was still disoriented by the smoke. I tried to keep her there until she would be overcome by it. The rifle clattered to the floor, she stumbled even more. Then our efforts were interrupted by another powerhouse Crimson Knight screaming for us to run.

Smoke aside, Sanna looks like a typical Runner and I look like a typical Nest. Yet he was trying to save us. Being an utterly psychotic bitch, Sanna went straight for his throat. She was winning until he got a hold of her arm and hurled her skinny little ass fifteen fucking metres in the opposite direction. It was hilarious. At which point she scrabbled up and ran from the town. I had birds tracking her. She got a few miles before passing out from exhaustion. So I've left her there, she probably still there, maybe alive, maybe dead, not sure. But either way she's not my fucking responsibility, you fucks.

Now if you'll excuse me I have some investigating to do. I'm a real private eye now, see. :3 Tirah.

SANNA!!!

Maybe sometimes I have SHIT to do. You answer YOUR phone. And damn right you're not dreaming! Timberwolves bemoaning that *they* are there so GET OUT OF THERE YOU CRAZY BITCH. LIKE RIGHT NOW BEFORE I GO THERE AND DRAG YOU OUT.

Fuck, bitch you even still alive?

♡ PSA: THAT GIRL Is A Goddamn Problem ♡

Links:
♡ ~ Beginning of Our Road Trip
♡ ~ We Meet My Old Master
♡ ~ Sanna's Losing Her Little Mind 
♡ ~ And Even More Of Her Little Mind
♡ ~ And Even More

JEEZ, trust Alexandria to give only ONE half of the story..........

Just stay away from her.

She is a problem.

Sanna is, to put it lightly and sensitively, a fucking nightmare to work with and I would rather dive naked into a slurry pit than work with her again. All of this, while I'm trying to drive. You have to understand that I was at the end of my tether – no exaggeration here.

Where do I start? She was rather blank, but demanding as fuck, like how am I supposed to know what you want if you're expressing the emotional depth of a spanner? I thought I was the Nest here. She wasn't focusing. She wouldn't go near crowded places. She would not let me touch her at all, unless I moved quickly enough. Every shadow made her flinch. Moments when she'd randomly lose it and start fucking crying again or lash out at me, verbally or otherwise. And she shattered my side mirror in fright because she thought she saw someone in it, clung to her gun like it was a childhood blankie, she was glancing all around everywhere and checking every freaking square metre of a location.

When she FINALLY settled down to sleep in her hypervigilance, she always woke up like ten minutes later screaming like someone had chucked boiling acid on her face.

Every time my phone went off, she broke down into tears, begging some unknown thing not to hurt her. Even when I changed the ringtone from Bad Medicine to Blurred Lines. Unwisely, I tried to get her to talk to me in more detail about what Morningstar had done, in the hopes that it would be therapeutic. Therapeutic, my arse. She jumped out the car, she ran across the fucking motorway, and then she hid from me. It took me two goddamn hours to find her. And two hours more to chase her down.

Basically, that girl is a goddamn problem. AND A FUCKING NUKE ON COUNTDOWN. Avoid at all costs.

♡ Tectonic Plates, Drifting Apart ♡

MUSICCCCC!!! I know you must have all been so so sooooo worried about me, well don't worry, I'm alive and my face is still pretty.

So, this is what happened. Everest, Milo and I went out to capture and interrogate some Crimson Knights. Names, Fiamma and Lorenz. Nests and Crimson Knights both being very powerful, one makes it the other's business when their bases start to get attacked, along with Timberwolf turf. To our dismay, Crimson Knights have never been known for their willingness to talk during interrogation. :3

All we got out of Lorenz: "They visited us in the night... they are unseen. Cloaked. Unnatural. They made the fires. In their wake – crumbled brimstone, fire, destruction. Forever gone, tearing out the delicate pink intestines of our lives as a silk-weaver correcting a mistake... then gone... evanescent, as if a ghost... so powerful... such beauty, wisdom, grace... and their will has a special name... reality."

All we got out of Fiamma: "We were in awe; the Timberwolves were screaming, ripping up and down octaves in agony. But we did not foresee them coming after us..."

A Fear??? A hive mind??? I don't know!!!!! Now we've all got to be on our toes for this third party – no, probably like the millionth party by now. Turns out it was a double set-up for me, because Everest and Milo chose to jump me once we had put Lorenz and Fiamma out of their Everest-induced misery.

But. We fighter servant girls. We're not all just medics. This ain't A Farewell To Arms, bitches!! Something that eluded Everest when he grabbed my forearm. I stopped, still. Pretended to cry like :'3

"You know you have nothing now," he said. "And when we get home from this, Rory will have nothing--"

"I do have one thing."

"Cute. What is it?"

"My other arm!!!" I knocked him in the face, stamped on his knee and started running. Told Rory to get his ass out and meet me at an undisclosed location. Which brings us to now. THANKS A LOT, MORNINGSTAR. SEE WHAT YOU DID???? NOW THEY ARE OUT TO KILL ME!!! :'(

Still curious as to who they are, and why their will is so important. Fears??? Attendants??? No. They wouldn't get involved. It's not their turf. Which leaves............ nothing.

Gonna go visit our mutual friend Sanna now, I guess. Might take her and Rory back to England with me. 

Later. :) x

Rory.

Maddie here. I'm OK. Rory, I need you to get off my account, stop pretending you're a gangsta, pack up, but only take the essential things; we can't take your Xbox or anything. Go to where I said we would meet, and I'll explain everything. You'll be safe, I promise.

-Maddie

MADDIE is missing, just FYI

Toppa the morning to ye mutharfuckars. Name's Rory. I like Eminem and Shakespeare ("Peace, ho! Caesar speaks"). Yah, I'm Irish, all of me. A hustler never forget where he come from.

Just hollerin that Madz be out somewhere without tellin us, Everest an Milo are looking for her and I just gotta sit here shoving Jammie Dodgers into my chomper.

Why won't they let me go with? Well you know, same ol' shiznit, they say I be too young to be a gangster, well shiet don't yous think that we grow up faster in this wild-ass world, n'mean? I got that semi on my waist and I'm blastin a short life ahead, I got as much heavy as the next killer and I make gunfire confetti like I made your mothar hot last night.

Right where was I goin with this deezy? Oh, so Madz is missin, any info or shit would be straight-up bangin bitches and we will spit some coin in it.

Anyway Madz is a tough bitch; I dunna be fretting over it. I'm gonna be playin Call of Duty ownin hoes so I won't be able to holler back right-up. 

Slán go fóill, motherfuckars.

Rory

♡ You Are A Toy ♡

I don't know why people are saying Sanna has changed. This is exactly the Sanna I know. No self-respect. Picks an authority figure, idolises them, and wonders why she's left out in the cold.

Painful to watch, girl. It's painful to watch. Let me start this with a callback to your childhood, Sanna:

YOU! ARE! A! TOYYYY!

You accuse me of being naive with Everest? Kelevra's no friend of yours. You can't trust him. He only wants one thing from you – destruction. Do you really find it a coincidence that he only shows an interest once you kill someone? Tell me something, sweetheart. If Kelevra respected you, do you think he would have waited to save you? Do you think he would have left you all alone in hospital? Do you think he would have kept you alive?

He doesn't respect you, Sanna. He never has. He never will. You're as much of a toy to him as you are to Morningstar. So Morningstar puts you through the most grotesque torture, and Kelevra condones it, and you STILL consider him a friend? You STILL trust him? You may as well trust Morningstar. They'll dress you up, brush your hair and push you out there to do destruction, and if you do not do that, they'll destroy you. You will be a failed experiment. And so you will be terminated. And then your dead body will be a cute little fuck doll for Kelevra. Oh, sorry, maybe I should add he only wants two things. :3

And you will deserve it, because you don't respect yourself, you let yourself be a toy for the psychos and you'll never be able live any other way. You'll constantly play into their hands, bend over backwards for them, because it's all you know. What you're best at.  Young, malleable little girl. You're perfect for psychos, it's why they like you, so easily fooled, so blindly trusting, even forgiving. And what of when you grow older? Honey, I don't think you'll live longer on this wild road.

As for the rest of the commenters? You're a freak to them, a lost cause, broken. You showed signs of insanity, coldness, you got the Morningstar bug, and now you're an outcast. You didn't keep to the line.

You're alone.

Hell, even us psychos don't want you.

Seen the Slender Man lately? No? I don't even think he wants you. Alone. But where's the Cold Boy? Nah, I don't think he'd want you either. Broken. Worthless. Too bad for the good guys. Too good for the bad guys. Alone.

You should totes kill yourself.

"Fucking bitch. Affiliating with Morningstar? What were you thinking? You want to get us on a plate? Think of Rory, for fuck's sake. If you wanted that girl dead, you should have come to us. We've always got your back."

"I didn't mean it, Everest."

"You didn't mean it? Oh, of course. You didn't mean it. Simply, your hands slipped across the keyboard, made all those posts, filled in all those fucking verification codes – you didn't fucking mean it, by the Glorious Flight, throw logic out the motherfucking windows 'cause Madelyn didn't mean it! Is that why you plotted with him and then bitched out when he turned against you?"

"I thought it would be OK, Everest."

"But of course. I see no flaw in planning with the Azoth whores, you know, just your natural enemy. Not a big deal. What the fuck did you expect?"

"I’m sorry, Everest."

"You will be. Go to the attic and don't come back down until we decide on a punishment. Go on, go. Fuck off. You make me sick."

♡ Click here. ♡

Found you, Sanna.

Don't believe me?

Look below this text. Or perhaps above your own little head . . .

You move fast, but not that fast.

Took longer than I thought.


View Larger Map

♡ Earthquake O'Clock ♡

It's time.

Hey, Sanna. :] Have some music that will bring back some....... memories for you. Am I correct in thinking you and Oscar were Pendulum fans, that this was the kind of music you would have listened to when the violence began? Huh, and you were so happy to tell me about everything except that. Not a word on it. Not even a hint!!!! The cheek. >:(

Got some birds going on the loose looking for yas. I think I have a good idea of where you went....... because I know what languages you did at school. I remember driving you home from that place. Rain, snow or shine, little Sanna in her school uniform, running up the whole block to the Sainsbury's car park just to tell me all about your day. I remember every last thing. A young girl, no grasp of the world beyond what you saw, no hold on the atrocities you would soon be committing........ and not regretting..... oh, snookums.

Are you afraid of Morningstar? It seems you are. That's great!!! :3 Just read up on his antics. Blood-filled. My kind of guy.

All the others that threatened to come after you. They didn't know you, they had to get to know you. But I know already.

I know your allies, merciless and merciful.

I know where you would go to for safety, come Slender Man or swarm.

I know the pitter-patter of your footsteps when you run, playground or no playground.

I know your voice.

I know your gait.

I'll know when any of these things have changed.

And that information is fully available to Morningstar.

See you soon. <3

♡ Fellow Natural Disasters ♡

I said I wasn't operating alone, I suppose now would be a good time to explain. :3

When I joined the Convocation's league, I was told I would soon be assigned to a suitable group. I was put with Milo, Everest and Rory. I was on my toes on account of them having asked specifically for me.

Milo is the oldest, thirty-six, and the leader, a very private person, writes poetry in his spare time. But he won’t let anyone read it. Whatever he says is loud, but well thought-out.

Everest is twenty-eight, a tall dark-haired guy with sly blue eyes, very good-looking, except for the massive scars all over his body and face, plus an ugly personality. (Some proxy who attacked him tried to carve the Operator symbol into his back and screwed it up horribly. So it's not even a cool meaningful scar. Just a mess.)

Rory is twelve, a little blond boy. A bubbly, mischievous thief. He only really acts as a lookout and a financer. Also he lives in permanent denial in the horrible things Milo and Everest do, half-heartedly cheering them on. Sometimes I try to stop the spread of our influence by telling Rory that murder and rape and kidnap and beating up are bad things. But based on how he looks up to Milo and Everest like older brothers, I don't think it's going to work...... oh well!!!!!

At first, I HATED it. I hated having to watch Milo slash throats. I hated coding messages to spam runners with, I hated finding out who their families were. I hated luring runners into traps where they would be beaten up or tortured or raped by Everest, or all three.

I tell you, had I had to film one more assault to post to the servant networking sites, I know I would have killed myself. I had a plan for it and all!!!!!

Then Snowblind had my house blown up, had every last member of my family killed. Does that sound familiar? As soon as Milo sat me down and told me, I tried to jump out the sixth-story window. He and Everest stopped me. They sat me down again, and told me what had happened to my family, then what had happened to theirs, and Rory's. They told me Snowblind wouldn't go unpunished.

That was the day I accepted them, because they made sure to put out all of Snowblind's resources, tarnishing his name, killing his friends and what was left of his family, making his job exceedingly difficult. I always thought I was never appreciated. But then they did all of that for me. Because someone indirectly hurt me. It made me feel kind of special. 

After that? I am happy to help them out.

♡ Climate Change Negotiations ♡

Mr Lovett, I'm not asking for very much, am I? :(

All I'm asking for is:
-Access to contacts in the Archive
-Assistance killing Sanna

Hey! I can even rule out the Archive thing and just ask for aid killing Sanna. Whereas, you're asking for me to put my fragile life on the line, and countless other valuable lives!

Seems more than fair to me; you're lucky I'm not demanding even more of you. >:{

♡ Electricity in the Air ♡

Oh yeah. I promised to set up a blog.

For anyone who doesn't know me, I am Madelyn Arabella Halsey, A.K.A Maddie. You can read more about me here and here. But dragging yourself through Sanna's and Snowblind's archives is suicide-inducing. All you need to know is this:

I am a loyal servant of the Convocation. I choose to be a part of Their grace, Their fluidity.

I want in on this war.

Sanna's going to die for what she brought on me.

Oh! And I won't be operating alone.

I think that much information will do for now, until the next post!

Thanks, Lovett, for sending me the locations of all these bases, would be no fun without them. ♡