Toppa the morning to ye mutharfuckars. Name's Rory. I like Eminem and Shakespeare ("Peace, ho! Caesar speaks"). Yah, I'm Irish, all of me. A hustler never forget where he come from.
Just hollerin that Madz be out somewhere without tellin us, Everest an Milo are looking for her and I just gotta sit here shoving Jammie Dodgers into my chomper.
Why won't they let me go with? Well you know, same ol' shiznit, they say I be too young to be a gangster, well shiet don't yous think that we grow up faster in this wild-ass world, n'mean? I got that semi on my waist and I'm blastin a short life ahead, I got as much heavy as the next killer and I make gunfire confetti like I made your mothar hot last night.
Right where was I goin with this deezy? Oh, so Madz is missin, any info or shit would be straight-up bangin bitches and we will spit some coin in it.
Anyway Madz is a tough bitch; I dunna be fretting over it. I'm gonna be playin Call of Duty ownin hoes so I won't be able to holler back right-up.
Slán go fóill, motherfuckars.
Rory
Are you for real? Seriously, are you for fucking real?
ReplyDeleteWHAT?
DeleteCalm your shit player and tell me what's up; unless you wanna chalk line around you.
-Rory
Try that again in English.
DeleteAlso, as an example of why you can't be for real, 'they say I be too young to be a gangster'
Point one. GRAMMAR. Putting words into order so that you don't come across as a fuckup. The difference between clear communication and making people want to set something on fire.
Point two. Who gives a shit if they say you're too young? You don't do things because people allow you to, you do them because you think they're right. Fuck that subservience shit.
Point three. You. Are. Not. A. Gangster.
Seriously, unless you're smuggling booze in the '30s, you're not a gangster. A crazy guy who makes birds appear is a servant. That's the job, do it with a little fucking class.
Well I been a Convocation servant since I was nine, I don't got much education over that, give a bro a break.
DeleteBut what I do know is this.......my buddy is missing and you're as helpful as tits on bull, motherfuckar.
-Rory
NO NO NO! Pleeaaasse let him keep talking. It's amazing.
Delete-Bill Coyote Cipherius
Peace, ho!
DeleteI be a COD player who fucked your mothar and thinks he's gansta, and I'm proud of it biatch.
Actually I am KIND of a rebel, since COD is rated 18 and I'm 12.
-Rory
That's rich, given that you're here blogging as opposed to helping. You want help, take it.
DeleteLack of education is no excuse for a lack of class.
It's spelt motherfucker. 'Motherfuckar' seems more like you have a speech impediment that you convert to writing.
You aint a bro. There's three people who I'd consider my bros, and two of them are dead.
Tell you what. I'll quit with the judging if you quit with the slang.
Say "class" again motherfuckar and I'll droppa dick shaped nuke on your hairy proxy ass. I ain't been in a class since I was fuckin eight years old, and I'm 12 now so FUCK OFF.
DeleteHAHAHAHAHAH BIATCH "AINT" is slang, practice what your ass preaches.
You got NO idea how pissed off Milo and Everest are with Maddzie. You want me to risk that shit? That sound good? NO PLAYER, NO IT DO NOT.
-Rory
Holy shit you are amazing. Tell me where you are and I wil shower you with gold chains, all of the kinds.
Delete-Bill Coyote Cipherius
P.S. Classclassclassclassclass
Class; Elegance of style, taste, and manner, EG an actor with class.
DeleteShowing stylish excellence.
Why the fuck would I care about when you went to school.
There are orders of magnitude difference between using the word 'aint' and the textual abortion that you put up.
Billy Bizzle I am a motherfuckin iceman already, I have two fuckin Rolexes on right now and a bubble machine, didn't you read her post about our crew?
Delete-Rory
P.S. Tell your mum Rory said hi, she'll know who I am, if she don't remember try telling her ass
Well then Lovett, my killa, to bust your ass in here and say "are you for fucking real" and then insult me when I ain't done shit to your ass, you probs have no elegance of manner, which means you ain't got class biatch!
DeleteIt's funny because I never had parents, or a childhood, or ever have an elderlyhood.
DeleteRory, I'm considered a demon. And I've been around for a loooong time.
-Bill Coyote Cipherius
IDGAF
Delete-Rory
An elegant manner. Not actually manners, your manner is made up of your general, I think style is a good word for it. Like, the wording of what you do, your mannerisms, all of those facets of your personality. So I may well be an arsehole, but I can still maintain an affable manner, even when my actual manners are shite.
Delete"I Dream of Gay Ass Fun"? Woah, Rory. Didn't know you liked that kind of stuff.
Delete-Bill Coyote Cipherius
That has an O in it mutherfucker...... that would be IDOGAF, not IDGAF.
DeleteCommon convention is to ignore connectives in the interests of pronouncibility. See also the RSPCA.
Delete'of' doesn't get put into abbreviations.
DeleteDMV- Department 'of' Motor Vehicles
DHS- Department 'of' Homeland Security
You get it now?
-Bill Coyote Cipherius
OF is a preposition biatch, not a connective, see I know shit.
DeleteBESIDES, why would you include A in the abbreviation if you weren't going to include of? suck on that bitch.
Delete-Rory
Rory, I would appreciate it if you just got over here.
DeleteMaddie
Peace ho, I'm in a taxi
Delete-Rory
"I Dream of Gay Ass Fun" Rory, ass starts with "A", hear me, "A". We get you like that stuff. Stop denying it and let go.
Delete-Bill Coyote Cipherius
hey lookie here, Billy Bizzle thinks callin me gay is gonna offend my ass, well it don't mean shit to me. I knows I did your mum last night and she look kinda like a guy if I squint from behind, otha than that I don't think so.
Delete-Rory
You did my mother last night? Well that means you fucked absolutely nothing last night, congrats.
Delete-Bill Coyote Cipherius
I'm your dad
Delete-Rory
Rory, if you stop now I'll sort out another Xbox for you.
DeleteMaddie
I thought you said you were 12? Unless you lied and are actually hundreds of thousands years old and can bend reality with a flick of the wrist.
Delete-Bill Coyote Cipherius
HAHAHAHA! Oh my FUCKING GOD! THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER! There isn't any anonymous comments so I had to steal this one fora bit but still,
ReplyDeletePFFT! Oh hell I can't stop laughing, so fucking amazing!
You are now and forever my favorite person.
-Bill Coyote Cipherius
Well thanks my killa, nice to know someone preciates my shit, then again I dunno if you're fuckin me about and not bein sincere.
DeleteSon of a biznitch, forgot to sign off. Rory. No one is back at the hive yet.
Delete-Rory
YO BILLY BIZZLE WHY YOU AINT REPLIED?!
DeleteIt's not everyday I find someone who might preciate my wisdom!!!
I like you better than Maddie already.
ReplyDeletehigh-five player!!!
Delete-Rory
*high five*
Delete